Our Lady of the Wayside

Our Lady of the Wayside
Protect Expectant Mothers and Their Babies


Saturday, 8 May 2010

A Woman's Right To Choose?

"We'll talk when you've had the abortion. Not done it yet? Didn't take you as a coward!"
read some texts that Josephine's boyfriend sent her.
He wouldn't take calls, but when eventually she got through to him at work, he said
"I won't sign. You won't get a penny from me!"
To make matters worse, her boyfriend was hoarding valuable books belonging to her that are worth thousands of pounds. ‘
"When you're finished at the clinic, I've no problem giving the books back." he said.

Josephine then told her flatmates that she was 11 weeks pregnant. The atmosphere changed from warm to freezing point.
"You can't stay here when you're like that." said a flat-mate as she brandished an arm towards Josephine.
One male flat-mated started going into her room to threaten her,
"You can't abuse our generosity by having a sprog and keeping it here."
In a bid to force her to move out, they stole her food and physically intimidated her when she was in the kitchen.

Little by little, Josephine started to think about having the abortion. She'd get her boyfriend back, and wouldn't have to scour London looking for a place where a baby was welcome. Her flat-mate told her that her debilitating morning sickness would disappear if she had the abortion.
Josephine, has no religion, and didn't know any arguments against abortion. She asked her Catholic friend Anne if she could advise her on having an abortion. Anne explained that as a Catholic she was against abortion. Anne asked Josephine if she had gone anywhere for help with keeping the baby. Anne gave Josephine the number of The Good Counsel Network, and Josephine made an appointment.

Josephine cried through hours of her session with us, where she was able to express her grief at her boyfriend's cruelty. That week, he had got a new girlfriend, because as he told Josephine,
"I don't need a pregnant girlfriend."

It was very hard for Josephine to accept that the bullying from her boyfriend and flat-mates was wrong and that she was not deserving of this humiliation because she was pregnant. Josephine explained how sick she was, getting up early to vomit and being very tired most of the day. We discussed how Josephine's own mum had been sick when pregnant. A big fear of Josephine's was that when she would rear the child, that the child would ask, "Where's my daddy? Will I grow up to be like my daddy?" Josephine said, "I'll never be a good mother because I'm going to have a baby that will never have a father."

Through careful education about the baby's development; showing her that he could even squint and furrow his forehead, Josephine learned that she was already a mother to an unborn baby, and that she was already being a good mother by eating well and resting more. Also, that the baby was not less of a baby because his daddy was not being honourable. We discussed, that yes, the baby may never know his father, but that this was better than depriving him of his life, as Josephine herself said.

Josephine has become firm in her decision to keep the baby. She has received continued emotional support from us, and has got help with accommodation and finances. She has decided to avoid negative influences that only hurt her anyway, and made her think about abortion. She decided not to text or ring the baby's father until she had the strength to do so.
Mary O' Regan

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