Destitute in London

The phone was ringing: the call was for me. One of the women to whom we sent vouchers each week was ringing to say she had received her voucher for that week.It was, like all financial help we give, a subsistence amount enabling her to buy enough food, nappies etc for her children. It did not allow for the tinest luxury but she was grateful, as all the women to whom we send vouchers are, because without this help she and her children would literally starve.
Yes in London England we have women and young children who are totally destitute. They are people who, for whatever reason, reasons usually outside of their control, have no money and no home. The baby's father has usually abandoned them. This is the story one such woman told to me when I first saw her..
Elaine's husband had emigrated to England. Once he was established in a job and had a home he sent for his wife and 3 year old son to join him. The plan was that they both would work, the child would attend nursery and they would build up a prosperous life for themselves. However the plan went wrong as it so often does due to the failure of the artificial contraception they used. Elaine found she was pregnant. Her husband was very angry and told her to abort the baby. She refused, so he regularly beat and kicked her and told her he would get rid of the baby. He also brought another woman into their dwelling place and openly slept with this woman. Elaine fled with her son and relied on a friend to provide accomodation food and essentials for both of them. Her friend told her that she would be unable to accomodate her after the baby's birth.
She saw one of our leaflets which outlines the help we can give and made an appointment to be seen when she was about 35 weeks pregnant. On assessment her main needs were for accomodation and enough money to feed and clothe her family once her baby was born. She also needed baby clothes and equipment , most of which were given to her on that first visit. I also referred her to an organisation via which she could access free legal help so that she could regularise her situation.Her husband's solicitor had been doing this but she no longer had contact with her husband. She was asked to return a week or two later to be told the outcome of the assessment of need and to learn what help could be offered to her.She had been asked to bring with her, to this first first visit, means of identification , passport, Home Office documents, any proof she could provide regarding her financial situation etc. This type of information is used to help inform all assessments and aids the decision making process. but the priority of the organisation is to prevent abortion. This lady was strong enough to resist her husband's violent attempts to get her to abort their baby, because of that resistence she was now homeless and penniless.
She did not return as expected but rang a few days later to say she had gone in to labour and her baby girl was born a few weeks earlier than expected, but she was due to be discharged from hospital and had nowhere to stay . Following discussion at Good Counsel it was decided that we would provide short term housing, vouchers, friendship, and support. She returned to practice of her faith and her children were baptised. She was able to leave within a few months, having regularised her legal situation. She now has a home and an income. She no longer needs our practical help but she continues to access moral support and friendship by visiting the Sisters(who ran the house where she stayed) and attending some of our mother's meetings.

Ronni O'Gara

When Words Are Not Enough

A friend of mine, let’s call her ‘Angie’, was at university with ‘Maria-Jose’.
Maria-Jose had been on the Pill for three years, and couldn’t understand why she was suddenly having symptoms of pregnancy.
‘I’m not pregnant, really I’m not, and it’s just a phase that my body’s going through’ Maria-Jose said to Angie. But after two months of morning sickness, back pain and tiredness, Maria-Jose went to the university doctor who verified her pregnancy. Maria-Jose said, ‘please help me find a way out of this.’ and he referred her to a abortuary. Maria-Jose didn’t tell Angie that she was pregnant, she just said, ‘I’m going to a clinic. I want to get out of this stage. I’m going to get rid of the symptoms.’ Angie was flabbergasted, here was Maria-Jose, who didn’t fully realise or accept that she was pregnant, but was going to a 'clinic' for an abortion. Maria-Jose was determined to look at the whole thing as if she was ‘just getting some antibiotics’ for an illness.
‘I didn’t have a clue what to say to her...all I could think of saying was:
‘This is the biggest decision of your life. Have you thought about keeping the baby?’Angie told me later. ‘And it was all so quick, before either of us had time to think, she was getting the tube to the clinic. My mind was in a whirr; what did her kid look like at nine weeks? Was it anything at all? And I felt guilty when I tried to talk to her, was I nagging her? My words suddenly felt like they had no meaning.’
And yes, sometimes words frankly are not adequate. We live in a visual age and a multi-cultural one where many of our friends are raised with different mother tongue(s) to us, and so the consequences of miscommunications when we only rely on words are grave.
Maria-Jose later said to Angie, ‘I didn’t understand what you were saying.’
Later Maria-Jose looked up the facts about what the baby had looked like at that stage in pregnancy. She started having a re-occurring dream; she would go to the door of the clinic, the picture of the baby would be on the 'clinic' door, she would get a shock and think, ‘That’s my baby, that’s what it looks like. Why am I here?’ In the dream she would turn away and go home. On waking she would have this empty, aching feeling and realise as she said to Angie, ‘I didn’t accept that I had a baby when I had one, and now I can’t really believe what I did.’
Angie and Maria-Jose have drifted apart as friends, Maria-Jose blames Angie for not telling her more about the baby; Angie wishes she had known about pro-life You-Tube videos and pictures to show Maria-Jose.
‘It’s all about being ready. And let’s face it, there are so many abortions everyday that the likelihood is that our friends will be having them too’ said Angie.
I gave Angie a baby model of a ten week old baby, and we looked up appropriate You-Tube videos. Angie said that she hadn’t wanted to pester Maria-Jose by giving her too much information before, but that unexpectedly Maria-Jose was upset with her for not doing so. Angie has done her own research on Pill failure, because she had formerly thought that it could never fail.
The following links are helpful for informing friends about the humanity of the unborn child:
Video of ultrasound for 1st Trimester
Video of ultrasound for 22 weeks

PS – Here in The Good Counsel Centre, we have seen the powerful influence of pro-life friends guiding pregnant friends with visual resources. One lady who was 22 weeks pregnant turned around at the abortuary. After her appointment with us, she was wondering why it was only us who were telling her about her baby’s development, and ‘the scary truth’ that her baby could live outside her womb at 22 weeks old. A friend of hers (who was a bit pro-abortion until she saw a graphic You-Tube video...) showed her a video of what a twenty-two week old baby is like in the womb. The mother decided to keep the baby, not because she understood or accepted any complex arguments, but because she had seen the activity of a baby in the womb.

Mary O'Regan

Pro-Life Fruit on Our Lady's Feast Day

I remember it was The Feast of the Immaculate Conception and I had just come out of Mass and completed the First Five Saturdays Devotion to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I was on my way to pray at the local abortuary as I usually do on Saturday mornings, to also hand out our pro-life leaflets as a member of The Helpers of God’s Precious Infants and to try and speak to the women entering the abortuary to prevent them from killing their unborn children.
I had been attending the prayer vigil for over a year and although there had been signs of women turning around I had not noticed a definite turnaround during my time there. Still I was sure in my heart that our presence at the clinic was vital and that our sacrifices and prayers were being answered although I could not see the results.
I was thinking to myself that I had to try harder and make more effort to speak to the women even though they usually had no time to stop and were almost rushing past me. I got one young lady’s attention after a while and began talking to her for a very long time and really thought she was going to turn around, so you can imagine how sad and disappointed I was when she went ahead through the entrance of the abortion clinic after listening and discussing things with me for about an hour. I had told her about the help she could have if she chose life for her child and she had declined.
Its very easy to become despondent and down after such an incident and our time there was coming to an end that day and I felt I had tried so hard to talk this lady out of having the abortion. I began walking over to the rest of the group on the prayer vigil as it was almost time to finish up. I was speaking to my friends there when suddenly I noticed another young lady approaching the abortuary and another of our friends still praying near the entrance. I wasn’t expecting her to stop and listen to me but to my surprise after her seeing the people still praying and hearing about the help she told me that her boyfriend did not want her to go ahead with the abortion, that she believed in God and went to church and that she wanted to know more about our help. “You see I've got one child already” she told me.

Then I remembered in the past how I once felt after having my first child and how I never wanted more children at that time, when a relative suddenly woke me up from my selfishness by saying “Your child is going to grow up lonely you know, don’t you think he would like a little a brother or sister to keep him company?” It suddenly dawned on me at that time that he was right and I have always been grateful to him, and because of what he said I did decide to try for another child and thanks be to God we have a second son today. I used the same lines to the lady I was speaking to and added “I'm sure they will be the best of friends”. At that point she brushed away some tears from her eyes and nodded. She also told me she was studying and trying to make a career so I went through the help leaflet with her and I made an appointment at our Centre that afternoon. I brought her to the centre myself to make sure she got there and did not change her mind. All the way thereI kept thinking how precious she and her baby were and that I was afraid of losing her so I just kept talking to her until we got to the Centre.
Thankfully, today, she is very grateful for our help and now has two little girls who play very happily together.

All praise and thanks to God, and to Our Lady for her intercession on her special Feast Day.
Lorraine

What A Precious Gift!

Giving life and protecting life is a virtuous act. Christ exemplified this by His death on the cross. He died that He may give life to the world and it is that life that you and me are enjoying today. Any act aimed at giving life or protecting life is a wonderful adventure. It is a Divine act.

Gianna was thrown out by her boy friend when she was found pregnant. Gianna felt that terminating the pregnancy was the only way to retain their friendship. She booked an appointment for the termination of her pregnancy, but something stopped her from going in for it. She got re-scheduled for another appointment which she eventually kept to. On reaching the abortuary, she found a group of people praying. This touched her in such a way that when she was approached for counselling she could not resist listening to the reasons to give her baby a chance to live. This decision resulted in the loss of her accommodation and, eventually, her relationship. Consequently, a lot of confusion set up in her life.

But she Providentially found solace at the Good Counsel Network, where she was taken by the people she met at the abortuary. The Good Counsel Network is a Pro-Life Charitable Organisation in the Catholic Church that lives exactly by the work she professes to do. This Network gives holistic care to women with crisis pregnancies. The Network gladly offers to protect mothers and the baby - in the womb and after it's birth. The Network is an ideal Pro-Life group, both in words and in deeds. Gianna came under the care of this Network. As time went on, Gianna, as well as her boyfriend, were tested to have ‘AS’ genotype (making them at risk of having a child with Sickle-Cell Anaemia). A new pressure was mounted on her to terminate the baby, for fear the baby may be born with Sickle-Cell. Her tension became stronger than the one she had during the first trimester of her pregnancy. She was encouraged by the Network and the Nuns* to keep the child, and to trust in God who has the power to change every situation for the better; also, to talk to the baby in the womb always, that all will be well.

At the end of her pregnancy, she gave birth to a handsome healthy baby boy who was tested, after three months of his birth, to be ‘AA’ (free of sickle-cell); to God be greater glory and honour, Amen!

Gianna, with tears of joy, brought the baby to the Nuns to announce the good news and exclaimed: “WHAT A PRECIOUS GIFT I WOULD HAVE LOST!”

So many lives have been lost in this way. Ignorance, lack of a good sense of values, and more painfully, lack of love and respect for life, and lack of a belief in God, have cost a lot of innocent lives. This is very heart-breaking. Any charitable organisation that promotes life like the Good Counsel Network, or my own Religious Order, The Holy Family Sisters of the Needy, has to be encouraged and supported. We are all created by God in His own image and likeness, therefore, the right to live must be respected! It is God who gives life and, therefore, He is the only one who equally has the right to take life. It is an obligation to every created being to work towards protecting every life created by God. Let us appreciate our life, and God who gives it, by ourselves becoming protectors of every life.

Sr Mary Joseph Ogbuokiri HFSN

* The Nuns are the Holy Family Sisters of the Needy, a Nigerian order of Religious Sisters with a particular charism of pro-life work, of which the author, Sr Mary Joseph, is one. These Sisters run Good Counsel's Home for Expectant and New Mothers and their babies.

Many Modern Day 'Alfie's' Continue to Use and Abuse Women and Children

The old 60's flick, 'Alfie' (re-made in 2004 with Jude Law in Michael Caine's old role) has a storyline that is still played out many times every day in contemporary life. Alfie, a young Cockney bloke revels in the sexual revolution’s mores of ‘freedom’ and promiscuity. He has an affair with an older married woman, when her husband, ill with TB, is in a sanatorium. The married woman’s pregnancy is conspicuous; she decides to have an abortion because if her pregnancy is discovered, it will be known that she has been unfaithful to her husband. Alfie will arrange an abortion for her - and then forsake her.

Organising a friend to mind her children, and without telling anyone, she trudges to London, find Alfie’s flatand meets an eccentric man in a trench coat who warns that an abortion cannot be undone. Alfie starts to snarl that the abortion must go ahead; otherwise he will have to face the husband’s anger.

I have met ordinary people who are in the very same predicament that the fictional characters in the film faced. Emily was one such lady who had been having an affair with a Catholic man for seven years. Over seven years, she had had two abortions to ‘cover up’ for their affair. On each occasion, her ‘boyfriend’ Matthew, said the baby was ok with him, but if she didn’t abort, well his wife would beat her up! He would stand by, and let it happen. Emily took the abortion pill the first time and found it harrowing, she said,

‘You were just waiting for the baby to come out, and when he did come out, he was so trampled that he looked like a baby who had died in a mouse trap. The second time round, I insisted on having surgery. I didn’t see anything.’

She described how, after each abortion, she became more dependent on Matthew. She would cry for weeks on end, and needed his comfort and him telling her that she had done the right thing when she aborted his babies. She believed him when he said ‘when the time’s right, I’ll leave my wife for you.’

The third time that she became pregnant; she told Matthew firmly that she would not have a third abortion. His response was to leave her completely alone; he stopped taking her calls and did a disappearing act. Oh but just like before, it was OK for her to have the baby, but he wouldn’t help with finances, and his wife might get a bit rough... She remained set on having the baby, until the lead-up to Christmas when everyone seemed to be having such a good time, except her. Her friends pushed her towards having the abortion,

‘Why don’t you get it over with before Christmas? And anyway, do you want the child of a married man? You’re having an affair, you need an abortion.’

Rushing for her appointment at the abortuary, she bumped into an Irish gentleman who was praying the Rosary – a Catholic prayer. She stopped to talk to him, and told him that her boyfriend was a Catholic but had practically speaking, motivated her towards an abortion, because of his refusal to help her in any way. The man told her of the support she could receive at The Good Counsel Network, and that she could get an appointment very quickly. Thankfully she chose to get in touch and seek support to continue her pregnancy.

Mary O'Regan

Not So Subtle Pressure to Abort

We met Naomi just after Christmas, she was 17, had finished school early, and worked in a café. Her boyfriend was ten years older than her, and had had two children with another woman. When Naomi found out that she had got pregnant during Christmas, she confided in her boyfriend’s mother, Liz who told her,

‘Oh what a pity…it’s not the right time. You don’t want to put Tom under too much pressure? I know what he’s like, he might not stay with you if things…get too much. Look, let me make some arrangements for you.’

I’m always suspicious when the boyfriend’s mother makes all the arrangements for his girlfriend…to have an abortion. I’m doubly suspicious when the boyfriend’s mother won’t give the pregnant mother any details of what the abortion will be like, but says flippantly, like Liz did,

‘Everything will be fine. It’ll all work out for the best. You just come with me for an appointment at this clinic, at this time.'

Something nagged at Naomi. The fact that her own parents would be against her having an abortion…in secret…worried her. And Liz was just ‘a bit too smooth’, wanting to pay for any expenses, and saying to Naomi,

‘Just make sure you go through with the whole thing…you’re doing the right thing. There’s nothing to worry about. There’s no risks with legal abortion.’

That was without Naomi having ever said that she wanted the abortion. When I spoke with Naomi, I asked her if anyone had discussed the baby - her baby - with her.

‘No. I’m the only one who calls it a baby. I don’t think my boyfriend likes this. He’s had two kids already, and says that since I've got none, that I don’t know a thing about babies.’

She explained that she was terrified of having her first child, but that she wished her boyfriend supported her - if he did she wouldn’t even think about the abortion. Naomi had heard that there was a link between infertility and abortion, but wasn’t sure because her boyfriend’s mother kept assuring her that, ‘There's no risks whatsoever. But be sure to go back on the Pill when you have it done.’

I told her yes, research did demonstrate that there was a link between abortion and future difficulties with having children. I also mentioned that some women we have met are unable to have a child after an abortion, but instead have several miscarriages.

‘Well if this is the only kid that I may have, then I don’t want to get an abortion’ she said.

Her boyfriend’s mother was not so collected when Naomi broached the subject of her new decision to keep her baby with her.

‘What’s all this talk about a baby? An abortion is what you need!’

‘Whatever!' Naomi replied. 'But a baby is what I have.’

Mary O' Regan

A Woman's Right To Choose?

"We'll talk when you've had the abortion. Not done it yet? Didn't take you as a coward!"
read some texts that Josephine's boyfriend sent her.
He wouldn't take calls, but when eventually she got through to him at work, he said
"I won't sign. You won't get a penny from me!"
To make matters worse, her boyfriend was hoarding valuable books belonging to her that are worth thousands of pounds. ‘
"When you're finished at the clinic, I've no problem giving the books back." he said.

Josephine then told her flatmates that she was 11 weeks pregnant. The atmosphere changed from warm to freezing point.
"You can't stay here when you're like that." said a flat-mate as she brandished an arm towards Josephine.
One male flat-mated started going into her room to threaten her,
"You can't abuse our generosity by having a sprog and keeping it here."
In a bid to force her to move out, they stole her food and physically intimidated her when she was in the kitchen.

Little by little, Josephine started to think about having the abortion. She'd get her boyfriend back, and wouldn't have to scour London looking for a place where a baby was welcome. Her flat-mate told her that her debilitating morning sickness would disappear if she had the abortion.
Josephine, has no religion, and didn't know any arguments against abortion. She asked her Catholic friend Anne if she could advise her on having an abortion. Anne explained that as a Catholic she was against abortion. Anne asked Josephine if she had gone anywhere for help with keeping the baby. Anne gave Josephine the number of The Good Counsel Network, and Josephine made an appointment.

Josephine cried through hours of her session with us, where she was able to express her grief at her boyfriend's cruelty. That week, he had got a new girlfriend, because as he told Josephine,
"I don't need a pregnant girlfriend."

It was very hard for Josephine to accept that the bullying from her boyfriend and flat-mates was wrong and that she was not deserving of this humiliation because she was pregnant. Josephine explained how sick she was, getting up early to vomit and being very tired most of the day. We discussed how Josephine's own mum had been sick when pregnant. A big fear of Josephine's was that when she would rear the child, that the child would ask, "Where's my daddy? Will I grow up to be like my daddy?" Josephine said, "I'll never be a good mother because I'm going to have a baby that will never have a father."

Through careful education about the baby's development; showing her that he could even squint and furrow his forehead, Josephine learned that she was already a mother to an unborn baby, and that she was already being a good mother by eating well and resting more. Also, that the baby was not less of a baby because his daddy was not being honourable. We discussed, that yes, the baby may never know his father, but that this was better than depriving him of his life, as Josephine herself said.

Josephine has become firm in her decision to keep the baby. She has received continued emotional support from us, and has got help with accommodation and finances. She has decided to avoid negative influences that only hurt her anyway, and made her think about abortion. She decided not to text or ring the baby's father until she had the strength to do so.

Mary O' Regan

A Horrible Anniversary Gives Way To A Joyful First Birthday

It was a Sunday morning when I got a phone call from Bernadette, a young mother I knew well who had been receiving lots of help from our centre. She was crying down the phone.

“What’s the matter” I asked afraid that there was something wrong with the baby.

She could not get the words out and I was very worried something had happened to her child. “Its a year ago today” she blurted out.

Suddenly I realised that it was a year ago that day when I had first met her outside the abortuary.

Thankfully she now had a beautiful little baby boy and had come to our centre for help instead of having the abortion that day. So what on earth could be the matter?

“ I feel so ashamed, so bad” she told me “ I went to the abortion clinic a year ago this day, I’ve been awake all night just looking at my son”.

I knew how precious he was to her and the guilt she was feeling about that day.

I remembered when I met Bernadette outside the clinic. I knew from the moment I first started talking to her that she was in a real desperate situation. She told me she had been feeling very sick with her pregnancy and had lost her job because of it. Her landlord had told her that she had to leave the house by Monday morning because she had no money to pay the rent. Her boyfriend had told her to go and have the abortion, and that there was little he could do to help her. Alone and helpless with no one to turn to for help reluctantly she made her way to the abortuary.

When I met her, I spoke to her about God and she told me she believed and agreed abortion was wrong. I told her about the help at our centre and immediately she phoned her boyfriend and I heard her telling him “I can't do this, abortion is wrong, it’s a life, its our child”.

Then she put me on the phone to her boyfriend and I explained that our centre would help her. Bernadette told me how much she really wanted the baby but she did not know what to do in her situation. She gave me her phone number.

She arrived at our centre for an appointment a few days later and after counselling our centre gave her emergency accommodation and provided her with the help she needed.

“Don’t worry any more about that day” I told her “You were in a desperate situation but you did the right thing, and you now have a beautiful baby boy. I’m sure God led you that day to meet us and get all the help you needed from our centre”.

Bernadette is very grateful for our help and it was great to celebrate her son’s first birthday with her recently.

Lorraine Coyne

Brave Women Deserving Our Admiration

‘Look at the birds in the sky. They do not sew or reap or gather into barns: Yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they are?’ Matthew 6:26.

How many of us have to literally put these words into practice? How many of us are so destitute that we have to put total trust in our Creator to provide for our most basic needs - a roof over our heads and some food to eat.

One of the many reasons I admire the women I see is that in order to allow their babies to live they have to take a giant leap of faith. Faith that God will provide, through us. Faith that our benefactors will give us the financial support to enable that to happen.

'No one is really poor in this country. They can get housing, benefits etc' I hear some of you say.

Any professional person who works with young families will tell you that those who truly survive on benefits find it very difficult to do so. It only needs a broken washing machine, children who need new shoes, a family funeral to plunge that family into financial crisis often further exacerbated if they borrow from loan sharks charging high levels of interest. The hardship these people endure was vividly illustrated on television recently when some MPs tried to live on income support levels for a week or so and failed miserably.

But those who qualify for benefits at least get the minimum to survive.

Many of the women who approach us for help do not have any access to public funds and they are literally destitute. They have no money, no home, NOTHING.

Do I hear you say, ‘Why are they having babies then?’ ?

It takes a male, a female and God to create a baby! It shocks me that so many of the women we see have been abandoned by the baby’s father - usually after he has first tried to force the woman to have an abortion. The baby is generally conceived due to failed contraception and within a relationship where the woman thinks the man is committed. The women are very hurt, shocked and traumatised when they approach us for help. Most of these relationships have been going on from several months to three years, or even five years.

The women quickly find themselves alone. Their friends and the professionals they approach encourage abortion, offer no help and abandon them as irresponsible for not availing of what they see as a perfect solution. Several women have told me how shocked they were to be offered abortion immediately when they informed their GP that they were pregnant. They are disowned by their families and communities who see the pregnancy as a disgrace even in these liberal times. These same families and communities including sadly some religious communities would much prefer that they murder the baby, a hidden crime which won’t affect them so they can hold their head high, while the unfortunate woman has to deal alone with all the trauma and damage that killing her own baby will cause her in the future. These women are often castigated within our society.

Of course it would be best if they were married, to men who respected, valued, and loved them and who treated them not as sex objects to be discarded like rubbish when the time comes for sacrifice and commitment but as equal and valued partners within marriage.

Admire these brave women, and while you do so, contemplate on our society where life is not valued and where our young men are depriving themselves of the most precious gift of their own son or daughter.

Where is all this going to end and is there anything we can do to stop the tide of abortion?

Ronni O' Gara

One Cold Still Day in Winter

Several of our volunteers and staff frequently atttend peaceful, prayerful vigils outside abortuaries. Here is the story of one of them.

Last year, on a very cold, still day in winter, we were holding a vigil outside Bedford Square. A boyfriend and girlfriend came out of the clinic. ‘Come on, don’t go looking at those…dolls. Let’s get going!’ said the Irish boyfriend, as he tugged his girlfriend’s sleeve. She shrugged his tugging hand off, and turned to focus on the baby models that are arranged in a display on the ground outside the Abortuary. Mgr. Reilly (Founder of the Helper's of God's Precious Infants) instructed us to put the models on the ground, because as he knows from decades of experience as a counsellor outside the abortuaries, ‘the mothers going into an abortion clinic keep their eyes fixed on the ground. They always look down.’ That day, the pregnant lady stared at the models, even though the boyfriend grunted and stomped away.
I went over to her.‘How are you?’ and I made eye-contact with the Mum. ‘Do you know how many weeks you are?’ I asked. She didn’t respond directly, but I picked up a model of an eight-week-old foetus, just as the pregnant mother said, ‘I’m eight weeks, I know from the scan that I had today.’ ‘Did you see the scan?’ I asked, as she studied the model intently.‘No. They didn’t show it to me…’ I handed her the baby model. ‘OK. Well now you know what your baby looks like.’‘Wow! I never thought…he would look so much like…a baby. He’s got everything.’ ‘That’s absolutely right. At eight weeks they are really beautiful. Oh sorry, I forgot to say congratulations.’ At the mention of the word ‘congratulations’, her face fell and tears appeared at the sides of her eyes.
When I get talking to a pregnant mother outside an Abortuary, it’s when I say ‘congratulations’, that they usually ‘open up’ and tell me the reason that they are there, at the gates of hell. She told me her that name was Kate; she was 23 and was in a relationship with a Catholic boy from Ireland. ‘He’s a plastic Paddy’ she said, ‘very nice when he wants me to go to a place like this. He says that women who have unplanned pregnancies should just come here. But like you can see, he scarpers when I get to look at something…you know…real.’ she said, and peered at the baby model.
We talked in further detail about her baby, and that she wanted to call the baby Kiara. She told me that her mother had offered to look after the baby while she finished her university education,but that her mum still said ‘it’s your choice.’ ‘We’ve only been going out two months’ she gestured at the Abortuary. ‘And the situation that we’re in…I can’t bring a child up in it…I never intended to have a child with him.’
In order to rectify this mother’s despair at how she would rear a child in her circumstances, I needed to emphasise the positive, and empower the pregnant mother. I invited her to look beyond her boyfriend’s issues, and the confusion she felt at the time. We concentrated on how much she loved kids, how much a support her family were, and how she was secure financially. I asked her some questions about the Irish boyfriend; did his parents know she was pregnant? ‘Oh no, his parents go to church a bit. He won’t tell them about planning an abortion…because they’d be against it.’ We discussed the health complications of the abortion pills that they had offered her in the clinic. She did tell me that she was definitely not going to have it done that day, and if she waited another week, she would be too late to have the abortion pills. ‘No. No. I’m not going to go for the pills. And I had decided never to have the surgery.’
She took my number, and said that she would ring me. My mistake was that I didn’t ask for her number, we had been talking for three quarters of an hour, and if I had taken her number, then I would have been able to call her later. Kate never did call me, but I do hope and pray that one day she will make contact and let us know the outcome. If she did not go ahead with the abortion, than she is still pregnant, and may come to us for help when the baby is born.

By Mary O'Regan