The Example of the Holy Family Calls Us to Holiness in Our Family Lives

This is a really great sermon about the family, contraception and natural family planning. A very rare thing to hear from the pulpit...

Sermon given by Fr Armand de Malleray, FSSP (pictured) on the feast of the Holy Family,
Sunday 9th January 2011




In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

INTRODUCTION: Dear Faithful,
As we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, we
give thanks to God Who chose to become Man in a family. The first Adam was
created by God without any human intervention. That is, the first Adam was
created by God not in a family, by definition. God could have done for the
New Adam – Our Blessed Lord Jesus Christ – what He had done for the first
Adam – Eve’s unfortunate’s husband. The second Person of the Blessed Trinity
could have become a man like Adam did, that is, without parents. On the
contrary, God chose to be conceived and born and educated as part of a human
family, in which He actually spent 30 years of his life on earth out of 33,
briefly in Bethlehem and in Egypt, and mostly in Nazareth. God could not
have given us a more convincing proof of his esteem for the institution
called ‘a human family’. We will see how spouses are called to share in
God’s creative power, then how parenthood leads through suffering to joy,
and lastly, how spouses can use sexuality saintly.

PART ONE: SHARING IN GOD’S CREATIVE POWER
If God loves families so much, what does He actually expect of them? God
expect families to imitate Him. Now what do we know of God, that our
families may imitate Him? God is a substantial communion of fecund love
between several Persons – God the Father eternally begets God the Son; God
the Son is eternally begotten by God the Father; God the Father and God the
Son eternally spire God the Holy Spirit; God the Holy Spirit eternally
proceeds from God the Father and God the Son.
Furthermore, God is good by essence, and good diffuses itself – ‘bonum
diffusivum sui’. God created, in order to grant other beings the good of
existing in his grace, which is the supreme good. What does this tell us
about families then? In God’s plan and with God’s help, families are
analogically a communion of fecund love, like the Blessed Trinity. Marital
union between husband and wife is designed to diffuse the good of existing,
at the image of God.
This is possible only because it has pleased God to endow human beings with
the incredible privilege of sharing in his own creative power through sexual
fecundity, as we read in the Holy Bible: “And God created man to his own
image: to the image of God he created him: male and female he created them.
And God blessed them, saying: Increase and multiply, and fill the earth, and
subdue it, and rule over the fishes of the sea, and the fowls of the air,
and all living creatures that move upon the earth” (Genesis 1:28).
“Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his
wife: and they shall be two in one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). “And Adam knew Eve
his wife: who conceived and brought forth Cain, saying: I have gotten a man
through God. And again she brought forth his brother Abel” (Genesis 4:1-2).
Who will tell the incomparable dignity of procreators, a divine prerogative
which God shared with us human beings only, not even with his holy angels?
Is there anything more extraordinary and more worthy of praise and honour as
to allow God’s own creative power to work about new rational creatures
endowed with immortal souls? Our Blessed Lord Himself praised this sublime
mission when he said: “When [a woman] hath brought forth the child, she
remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world”
(John 16:21).

PART TWO: PARENTHOOD, THROUGH SUFFERING TO JOY
Those among us today who are parents, but also the others, know well that
the original sin has made life very difficult for all men, and in particular
for parents. If the conceiving of a child is easy (for those couples at
least who have been spared the distress of sterility), his bringing up is
difficult and often painful. It requires constant sacrifices on behalf of
the parents and of the family.
By comparison, mere beasts fulfil parenthood when begetting their children
to natural life and raising them according to natural instinct. But human
beings are rational animals. Unlike beasts, human beings have an
intellectual and immortal soul, designed to know God and to unite with Him.
Consequently, begetting children to natural life and natural instinct will
not be enough for human parents to fulfil parenthood. The husband and wife
are father and mother inasmuch as they educate their children as children of
God, as children “of the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom all
paternity in heaven and earth is named” (Eph 3:14-15).

Dear Friends, let us not think for one second that God, Who has made some of
you pro-creators in his image, would ignore or despise your psychological
and moral pangs and your heroic sacrifices as parents. Indeed, for your own
sake, that same God has delivered his own beloved Child, as St Paul
stresses: “[God] that spared not even his own Son, but delivered him up for
us all, how hath he not also, with him, given us all things?” (Rom 8:32). So
God knows very well what it means to suffer as a parent. But He also knows
that parents’ sufferings work about redemption and eternal life, when
accepted in union with his adorable Will, and when trusting in his tender
Providence.

Let us not however imagine that family life and parenthood in particular are
essentially painful. No, children are a blessing and a source of joy already
in this life, and forever in the next with God’s help. The prophet Isaiah
thus describes fecundity as a cause for exultation: “Give praise, O thou
barren, that bearest not: sing forth praise, and make a joyful noise, thou
that didst not travail with child: for many are the children of the
desolate, more than of her that hath a husband, saith the Lord” (Isaiah
54:1). Parents are called and appointed by God to share in his creative
power on earth so as to populate heaven with numerous saints! God who is
good and holy will make this sublime vocation also a joyful one, if only we
trust in Him; and if with his grace we tackle daily the obstacles of our
selfishness and of our pride – until they melt away.

PART THREE: PRACTICAL APPLICATION: SAINTLY USE OF SEXUALITY
In the meantime, the Church with all her power supports parents in their
very meritorious battle for life both natural and supernatural. Holy Mother
Church helps her children to welcome their own children and thus to fulfil
their vocation as fathers and mothers. She enlightens them and strengthens
them against the easy temptation of contraception – not to mention abortion
here.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that if: “For just reasons,
spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to
make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in
conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood”
(2368).

2370 Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on
self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the
objective criteria of morality. These methods respect the bodies of the
spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favour the education of an
authentic freedom. In contrast, "every action which, whether in anticipation
of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its
natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render
procreation impossible" is intrinsically evil.”
I should add here that as such, these actions must be accused in confession.
The Catechism reads further: “Thus the innate language that expresses the
total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through
contraception, by an objectively contradictory language, namely, that of not
giving oneself totally to the other. This leads not only to a positive
refusal to be open to life but also to a falsification of the inner truth of
conjugal love, which is called upon to give itself in personal totality.
2371 “Let all be convinced that human life and the duty of transmitting it
are not limited by the horizons of this life only: their true evaluation and
full significance can be understood only in reference to man's eternal
destiny.” [End of quote].

In good faith, parents who meritoriously refuse contraception may wonder
when periodic continence is licit. The following guidelines [cf Husband and
Wife, TAN Books & Publishers, Inc, by Rev. Paul Wickens] may help:
1. There should be a serious reason for practicing it, for example, grave
physical or mental health problems or some economic catastrophe.
2. Both parties should mutually agree to abstain from the marriage act
during the designated times.
3. There should be no serious danger of incontinence for either partner.
4. There should be no lessening of faith or trust in God’s wisdom in sending
children.
5. The periodic abstinence should be practiced only for the duration of time
that the serious reason exists.
6. To be completely certain, couples should also seek the advice and counsel
of a priest whose doctrine they can trust.

Not quite as a last guideline, but rather as a constant condition for
virtuous behaviour, spouses should also pray God, and his tender Mother the
Blessed Virgin Mary and St Joseph, the Holy Angels and all the saints to
guide them and fortify them daily.

CONCLUSION: Our Lord Jesus Christ has elevated marriage to the dignity of a
sacrament. In the Holy Bible, God even made the sacrament of matrimony an
icon of his own love for every soul and for the Church. God’s love is
fecund, bringing forth countless saints, radiant children of Holy Mother
Church immaculate. Similarly, human marriage calls for a generous openness
to life. This is what we pray for on this feast of the Holy Family. We pray
to that intention during this Mass – if not all of us as parents, then,
fraternally, as baptised children of the Church. Our intercession is made
more confident by the words of Our Lord’s beloved Apostle St John who wrote
in his third letter: “I have no greater joy than this, to hear that my
children walk in truth” (3 John 1:4).

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen.

Posted by Conor Carroll

Contraception and the Destruction of Love

The love a man and woman have, within marriage, needs to be governed by self-control. Each and every act of making love within marriage needs to be open to the transmission of creating life. Contraception, whether it is condoms, diaphragms, the contraceptive pill or other methods, are preventing life from being created, and are putting a block, a barrier between the husband and his wife, preventing an act of total self giving. Not only does contraception prevent life from being created, it causes a mentality that the husband and wife can choose when they can have a baby. This puts a block between the man and woman and indeed God himself. A married couple are called to cooperate with God’s plan in creating life. It is a beautiful and humbling thought that God desires such intimacy with the married couple, that God creates life through the love and openness that the spouses have for each other. This is why it is always wrong to use contraception and the act of making love is reserved for marriage only. Sex is beautiful and holy. Let’s not tamper with God's plan to create life.
Contraception actually hinders communication, intimacy, affection and tenderness between the spouses, creating an idol out of pleasure and self-gratification. The lack of fecundity and total self-giving in the use of contraception is contrary to God's plan, and it is no wonder that divorce rates, not to mention abortions, cohabitation and 'trial marriages' are so prevalent in the world, since the wide acceptance of contraception in the 60s during the sexual revolution.
There is also a very strong link between contraception and abortion. Not only do some forms of contraception cause an early abortion, and are thus abortifacients, they create a mentality, which is not open to life and to motherhood, and so the obvious result of an unplanned pregnancy is tragically, abortion.
Natural Family Planning on the other hand is a natural means of spacing children and as long as it is not used for selfish reasons, it strengthens the love between husband and wife. It differs from contraception as it allows for communication and love to grow. Contraception slowly erodes the couple's ability to love, and creates a disordered desire to make the act of making love primarily about pleasure, which destroys friendship and prevents self sacrificial love from growing and blossoming.

James Coulborn

We Can Turn Our Culture Around

The family planning and abortion "clinics" promote their wares everywhere, they make lots and lots of money from their business.
As catholics with the gift of faith our business is to ensure that we ourselves and everyone we have contact with experiences God's love through us. With all our sinfulness and weakness we each do our best to keep God's law and never knowingly harm anyone. We are human, we fail, but we have been given the Sacrament of Penance so that we can confess our sins no matter how grave, get God's forgiveness and start anew.
Through ignorance and arrogance I rejected the teaching of the Church on contraception without having read the Church's relevant documents and having had no discussion wth those who were learned in those matters. I suspect there are many people who believe as I once did and who need leadership and teaching from our church
Could our spiritual leaders our shepherds please have a year for the promotion of the teaching of the church on love, marriage, sex, openess to life, planning a family, the evils of contraception? Where is political correctness and the desire to go with the flow and not upset the apple cart going to get them and us on the day of judgement.
There is a way to turn things around, it may take some time, but the gangs of today can become the saints of tomorrow (we are a church of sinners eg the great Saint Paul was a great persecuter of christians prior to his conversion)if we trust in God and if we all use our God given talents and leadership skills.

Ronni O'Gara

Shepherds Must Guide the Flock On Contraception and Give Light to the Secular World

Contraception has encouraged the 'sexual revolution' enabling sex to be separated from conjugal love within marriage. Sex has become a commodity to be enjoyed in an expection that there are no consequences, no responsibility.
The use of contraception is generally deemed to be the responsibility of today's 'liberated' woman. Therefore when it fails the man sees the resulting pregnancy as the woman's failure, her problem, nothing to do with him, hence the pressure to abort and generally immediate abandonment of the woman and of any responsibility towards his child.
Some men do of course use condoms, in an effort to protect themselves from another consequence of this so called sexual freedom, sexually transmitted disease, including HIV, Aids and the many other STDs.
Every day we hear via the media of the breakdown in our society, the breakdown of family life, divorce, single parents, the lack of male role models in many families, men's disempowerment in relation to taking responsibility and being fathers to their children, the gang culture, the killing, the drugs, the alcohol abuse, the sexual abuse. Our secular leaders - those in power - wring their hands: their solution, more sex education to younger and younger children, more contraception, more abortion.
Jesus asked who wanted to throw the first stone at the woman caught in adultery. So none of us have the right to judge anyone else, we do not know what that person has suffered, how they have been disadvantaged in life. Those of us who have been given the wonderful gift of faith have a greater responsibility than anyone else to fulfill our vocation in life to the best of our ability.
Our spiritual leaders, cardinals, bishops and priests know - or should know - that contraception is sinful, that natural family planning works, that it enhances the loving relationship of a husband and wife enabling them to truly love one another, to be open to life, to limit the number of children they have when there is a serious reason to, helping them to be chaste and faithful within marriage. We know it has no side effects, no ill effects, and that statistically it is much more effective than any form of contraception in planning a family in compliance with the will of God; true liberation for men and women.
If our church leaders, our shepherds, are not willing to speak out. If they are not willing to say in a compassionate way that sex outside of marriage is a mortal sin, if they are not willing to promote chastity, saving sex for marriage, natural family planning, if they are not willing to ensure that their congregations know the truth, to ensure that our schools follow the full teaching of the church so that our young people grow up without the contraceptive mentality of previous and current generations, what hope have we of our secular leaders ever seeing the light?

Ronni O'Gara

Openness to Life

As those of you who read this blog regularly will know, I very recently got married. I have just got back from honeymoon last week. It was most certainly the happiest day of my life to date and I would like to thank anyone who prayed for me and my lovely new wife. I’m sure it helped to make everything run so smoothly.
As a newly married man and woman, children was at the forefront of our minds. Are we ready to have children? When should we have children? Are we in a position to have a child? And support it? While these questions naturally came to mind these are all negative questions. We also thought of the wonder of having children. I have seen nephews, nieces and cousins growing up and can't wait to have my own. We would both love to have our own children to cherish as soon as possible.
I am aware that some would say we need to be sensible, but we have decided to leave things to God. Some think that in the future we will need to look at our circumstances and evaluate whether God would like us to have more children, but for now I know that we do not need to have the biggest or nicest house, a sports car, live close to the best school or even feel a little petrified that I might do something wrong for my first child. I believe children do not need perfection, they need their Father and Mother around them to love and to look after them and teach them the faith. The rest come as a matter of course. I will pray and trust in God and I know that He will provide.

Conor Carroll

Too Strict to Use Natural Family Planning?

A prayerful Catholic couple were blessed with many sons and daughters, before unfortunately suffering a miscarriage. They were keen that they would conceive again. They went to a Catholic doctor who is opposed to contraception; they were advised to take a break from trying to conceive. The woman’s progesterone was extremely low, and she was also suffering from exhaustion after so many pregnancies that had come one after the other. I don’t think it was unreasonable of the doctor to suggest Natural Family Planning (NFP) to the couple, as a means by which they could avoid conception for a short time.
The couple were stroppy...’We reject Humanae Vitae!’ they stiffly told the doctor. ‘That encyclical allows for the use of NFP, and we know that NFP is always a sin, and we’re not going to use it!’ Neither were they very keen on using total abstinence.
So, they straightaway tried to conceive again, only to miscarry three months later. They tried to conceive again, only to have difficulty conceiving... When they approached the doctor again, they asked for meds that would kick start a conception. The doctor ran tests, and again advised that they take a tiny break. The wife was quite run down, and had ‘pernicious anaemia’, but was quite strident that ‘if I get pregnant soon, then I can take iron during the pregnancy!’ They insisted that there was no need to wait for the wife to restore her chronically low levels of some hormones, which are essential for maintaining a pregnancy and avoiding miscarriage. They were going to get pregnant now!
The couple suffered several more miscarriages, until finally, they both conceded that they would follow the advice that had been given them years hence, and went into a stage of ‘preparing for pregnancy’. This stage lasted longer than they had wanted, and then when they tried to conceive it took longer, but they did have a lovely baby. I was bemused to find that the couple now grudgingly admit that NFP is ‘not all bad, and can have its uses.’

Mary O'Regan
(Editor's note: The Catholic Church allows the use of Natural Family Planning when a couple have grave reasons to avoid or space a pregnancy. Like anything NFP can be misused, but it is morally neutral in itself and can be used for good or for evil within Marriage.)