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Friday, 10 March 2023

When I Needed Help No-One Else Seemed To Care: 40 Days of Celebrating Mums Choosing Life Day 17

 


About 6 and a half years ago I fell pregnant unexpectedly. I had experienced a lot of domestic violence and I was dealing with that. 

I already had a disabled daughter and I was her carer.

I also had no supportive family living near me.  

I was scared to tell my boyfriend, in case he forced me to abort the baby.

I was unsure what to do.



I first heard about the Good Counsel Network from a friend of mine.

When I went to Good Counsel I met an advisor called Yvonne. Yvonne really listened to me and I told her that this guy was going to try to pressure me. She advised me. and I decided not tell him about the pregnancy until I was further along. So that is what I did. Yvonne stayed in touch to check that I was OK.

Now I had two children under 5, and one of them was severely disabled, but I was happy that I had been able to keep my baby. My relationship with my children’s father had broken up but as time went by I met a man who supported me and really helped me with my children. Then, I fell pregnant again.

My disabled daughter was then 3 years old, but her brain function was and is more like that of an 8 month old baby. I was worried about what would happen but I hoped my partner who had been so supportive of my children would accept this baby, but he wasn’t at all. Instead, he pressured me to abort the baby. I didn’t know what to do.

I went for an appointment at an abortion clinic. But while I was there they did a scan and found out that the baby was about 17 or 18 weeks! I knew then that I could not abort the baby.

I went straight to the Good Counsel Centre and saw Yvonne. She told me they could put some support in place, that someone would help me with my daughter. Yvonne helped me to stay positive. I continued the pregnancy, but my boyfriend was very angry about it. He cut off contact with me and I began to wonder how I would cope with 3 children under 5 and one with special needs.

When my baby was born he was very unwell. He was put in intensive care on life support and I was told that he may not survive. I wanted to visit my son every day, but I was not allowed to bring my older children to the hospital when I visited my newborn, I had no-one to mind them for me. This meant that I would never be able to visit him in hospital.

I spoke to Social Services and asked them to provide a carer for my two children at home so I could see my son, who was possibly dying, but they refused! 

I told Yvonne and immediately Good Counsel helped me. They helped provide someone to take my daughter to and from school, this - along with the help of some friends caring for my 1 year old – meant I was able to visit my baby in intensive care. I had to contact the baby’s father and tell him “Your son has been born, but he might not make it”. He came to the hospital and visited him every day and they did start to bond there.

Thankfully my son made a full recovery and left hospital a few weeks later. His father sees him regularly but no longer provides me with any practical support. Good Counsel pays for a carer to help with my daughter each day.

This allows her to go out for 2 hours each day after school, which she loves. It really benefits my daughter and it helps me to have time for myself and my other children. 

Life is not easy but I am so glad I did not have to abort my children.

Please support the Good Counsel Network.

When I needed help no-one else seemed to care. Even when my son was in intensive care social services did not help me, but my advisor Yvonne, through Good Counsel, helped me. Yvonne was always there to support me. She checked in on me a lot. And when I did need practical help, the help was instant.

They are still helping me. Your support can help them to help someone else like me. Please give generously!

Please donate to help us support Mothers in need here 

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