Should Have Been More Careful...

Maria came to us when her husband beat her up. Things were not good between them when she had conceived her child - despite using the pill - but they had got worse and worse and then, several months into her pregnancy things had come to a head. Thankfully, although she initially wanted an abortion, with help and support she continued the pregnancy and was able to build a new life.

Sometime later she was visiting our centre and she met another "client" of ours, Marion. Marion was severely disabled, having lost one leg. But we were supporting her through her pregnancy.

"Oh my God!" said Maria to me after Marion had left. "How could she let herself get pregnant! she only has one leg! It will be so difficult for her."

"But Maria, what should she have done? She's married. She got pregnant. Her husband has left." I replied.

"She should have used contraception" she answered.

"She did. But you know yourself that it fails? Why do you think it would have worked for her?"

"But...she should have been more careful with it...she should have used something safer." said Maria.

"There is nothing that is going to never fail Maria. And furthermore, like you, Marion had been told her pill WAS safe. That it was 'being careful'. What has to happen before your faith in contraception is undermined?" I answered.

I hope it caused her to rethink her view. It was certainly the beginning of many conversations on the subject between us. It still amazes me to see how women will fall for the 'safe contraception' illusion again and again in their lives, and will judge and blame other women who have fallen victim to the same lie.

Clare McCullough